Being measured by academic and athletic standards since birth, I always fell just shy of the undiagnosed dyslexic, asthmatic kid who smelled like bologna and had a mom who sold sno-cones from her car. Participant ribbons began being manufactured the day I was born. I also credit myself with the births of sixth, seventh, and eighth place.

I failed swimming lessons when I was five and failed the Presidential Physical Fitness Test every year until ninth grade when we didn’t have to be tested anymore. I sat on plenty of sidelines in little league soccer and carved out my own personal residence in right field for softball.

I played the school game about as well as anybody. My sister constantly complained about how bad she had it with her honors classes and Mom and Dad staying on her case about her grades. I tried explaining that she went wrong in the beginning. I told her she should have been more like me and our older brother. Horribly and unapologetically average. She set the bar too high. “If you would have played like you were a little dumber, they wouldn’t expect so much. Then, when you do well, they think you did really well.” I got A’s and B’s, and slid in an occasional C in high school.

College was a disaster–but college was also when I began to get recognition for my work. Not for grades or study habits, but for projects and even papers. But I also saw the ugly truth of things and it was crystal clear–often times it’s the kids who play the game the best that win. They come early and stay late and volunteer for everything and slide under the arms of the right people and it gets them a blue ribbon every time. I got awards in undergrad and design school. Sometimes ridiculous amounts, but I never got good at the game.

I failed a few critiques and was told that I shouldn’t be allowed to graduate. I was told more than once that my work wasn’t design and that it didn’t belong in magazines, but instead on museum walls. I’ve been to job interviews that turned into hour-long lectures on how I won’t make it as a designer. Many have said that my work was too conceptual. They said I needed to demonstrate my ability to solve real-world problems with real-world solutions.

I’ve developed a pretty good sifter over the years and I think that’s important. I take what seems right and I discard whatever doesn’t. Criticism and awards are much the same to me. It’s dangerous to listen to them too much or too little.

But here’s my resume.